Demilition's Journals

I swore I saw you smile

We choose to share what we want to share.

Be for attention, sympathy, gratitude, thanks or just plain old boredom.

If you can't take the criticism someone may give about something - don't share it.

I miss pouring my heart out into my writing.

I'm liking my artistic style at the moment - I want to pursue this and continue it.

Everyone of my inspirations are coming and blending together to create the real Demi. To help me figure out where I want to be and what I'm going to end up creating. Moulding me into a more inspired individual.

Detailing; Failing; Explaining.

Don't stay gorgeous; increases insanity.

Don't repel these forces; breaking community.

Each song is a memory of what we've been through. The troubles our eyes have been subjected to.

Each line is a phrase we couldn't write ourselves. Confusing on so many levels.

You can't create imagination. You have to imagine it.

And that's the hardest part of being artistic.

You can't create without imagination.

Creation is the byproduct of your dreams and aspirations.

Imagination is the byproduct of your mind running wild; going insane.

To be profane: it's my speciality.

Where did you go?

I'm torn between doing the right thing and being unhappy. Torn between doing the wrong thing but finding myself happy. Torn between fights with my parents. Or just letting them roll over me, insult me, degrade me, lecture me, interrogate me. Now I'm upset, pissed off. Regretting anything that happened. I want to call Liam; but I don't want to wake him up I want to scream at everyone else; I don't want to get grounded I want to run away; I don't want to cause a scene I want to be a different person; I don't want to lose myself. Who should I be? Who should I listen to? I'm wrong. already. I'm nauseated. They don't care. I'm depressed. They think its just because they are forcing me to do the right thing. Stop the press; stop the talk; stop the questions; stop the appointments; stop the reasons; stop the causes. Stop. Stop me. Stop the time. Start teenage life?

Because this is me. On my Sunday night.

1 When was the last time you cried? Probably sometimes this last few days. Friday I'm pretty sure. 2 Have you ever faked sick? dang str8 motha bleepah. 3 What was the last lie you said? i don't lie. And that's a lie. 4 Have you ever cried during a movie? Yeah. Who hasn't? 5 Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of? Whooooooo dooooooooo yooooooooou think?! 6 Have you ever danced in the rain? Yeah, with Irene. And it's on video. I don't know where that video is. School's cup 06. Lolmajor. 7 Have you ever been drunk? well now... 8 Have you ever tried drugs? lolz, negative on the illegal drugs, thumsup for the paracetamol! 9 Do you smoke? smoking is h0m0 10 What's the farthest you've ever gone on a dare? Taken my pants off in the dark behind a chair in front of my cousins who couldnt see anything when i was 10. rofl. 11 What is your full name? Demi Prue Faithful Cambridge 12 What is your blood-type? something cool. LOL! GET IT!? 13 Have you ever been in a car accident? no, never. 14 How old were you when you recieved your first kiss? I believe I would've been...11? 15 Who was your first kiss? My first boyfriend. Doesn't count as a boyfriend though. 16 Have you ever had an online relationship? depends. how. you. mean. 17 Have you ever had phone-sex? how awkward would that be. lol. just...weird. too weird. 18 Have you ever been rejected by a crush? oh yeah. primary school days were sweet as. 19 What is your favourite sport to play? idk. volleyball. touch is pretty fun. 20 Have you ever made a prank phone call? yeah 21 Have you ever said oi yeah everyday. 22 What's your favourite childhood memory? The massive newspaper boulder in grade 7. OH man that was awesome. Matt Carruthers. Freaking ace kid. 23 Is there anything that you have done that you regret? not sure. I mean, probably sure, but I don't know if I want to think about regrets. 24 What do you want to be when you grow up? Photojournalist in the music industry. To be precise. 25 What is your political persuassion? Barack Obama fo lyf bro 26 Have you ever had cybersex? roflmajor no 27 Do you believe in g-d? I think 28 Do you believe in love at first sight? no. not really. Lust, chyeah. 29 Do you believe in karma? Most of the time. Like when peoples tyres go flat. 30 Who was your first crush? Justin Black. Grade 2. 31 Who do yo uhave a crush on? well. His name is Liam Holmes. And its a tad more than a crush. 32 How would you describe yourself? intricate. Over thinker. Annoying. Independent. Scaredy cat. Afraid. Confusing. 33 What are you afraid of? the massive huge ocean. Creepy d00dz. Losing the one person who seriously means the most to me, ever. 34 Are you religious? Yeah, but im not Nazi about it. 35 What does your screen name mean? it's Demilitarize. Which means "To eliminate the military character of" 36 What person do you trust the most? I guess Liam. My parents are slowly majorly losing it. 37 Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? oooo!OO!OOoOoOOOooOoOo my first legit one wasnt really legit. Jarrod. 38 What is the best compliment you have ever recieved? theres a few. 39 What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you? lol. 40 What is the longest crush/relationship you have had? Well, this ones been going for about a year and a half now. So yeah. I'll go with that, yeah? 41 What is your greatest strength? Who said I was strong? 42 What is your greatest weakness? Someone by the name of Liam pursades me easily. 43 What is your perfect pizza? oh man, how I could answer this awesomely, but im not. 44 What is your first thought when waking up in the morning? Time. 45 What is your first thought before you go to bed? FIRST? dont you mean last? 46 What college do you want to go to? a one with stuff. 47 Do you get along with your family? 76% of the time. 48 Do you play any instruments? Guitar Bass Drums Keyboard. Your Face. 49 What kind of music do you like? Mostly everything. Except rap. Turn that shit off, yo. 50 Do you think you're attractive? Every now and then. 51 Would you ever get a tattoo? For sure. 52 How many piercings do you have? currently 7 53 Who makes you laugh? Frank Woodley 54 Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours? Tom Delonge. 55 Have you ever seen a dead body? CSI is full of them. 56 Do you have a celebrity crush? Tom Delonge 57 What is one thing scientists should invent? Tom Delonge clone. For me. 58 Have you ever broken a bone? no siree. 59 What happens after you die? Life goes on. 60 Do you watch or read the news? Not really anymore. I used to be pretty hxcore into it. Now, its a waste of thought space. 61 What stereotype would you label yourself as being? Retard. 62 Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label? Yeah. 63 If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I don't want to change it. 64 If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go Depends, would I have to re-live it all again? But. Maybe. None. 65 If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change? i dont like this one 66 Have you ever gone skinny dipping? tbh, yes. 67 Have you ever played strip poker? oi, get onto it liam. 68 Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves? hopefully not 69 What do you want your friends to think about you? That I'm okay whatever I am. 70 Whats the biggest argument you've ever gotten into? Parents. Anything in the last year. Over it. 71 HAve you ever bitten someone? I used to do that for fun 72 When's your birthday? July. 73 Have you ever stolen anything? idk really 74 Do you make wishes on shooting stars? nono, 11:11 though. 75 Whats the most you've ever eaten in one sitting? I used to get in trouble for eating. Now its vice versa. 76 If you could go back and change one day, what would it be? I got the day. I'm not saying. 77 Do you remember your dreams? not entirely. 78 Have you ever been in love? you could say that 79 Are you a morning person or a night person? Noon 80 Do you have any phobias? Family phobia. 81 What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone? Couple of stuff, but its not like I remember. 82 Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth? hey there. 83 How many screen names do you have? one. the others jsut for email crap. 84 Do any medical problems run in your family? retardness. 85 Have anyone ever been disowned from your family? Pfft, you'd think i'd about to be 86 Have you ever had a nightmare? Yeah, I used to have a lot. 87 Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies? Friends XD 88 Would you ever participate in a threesome? Me, Tom Delonge, Liam. I'm up for it, yeah. 89 Would you ever pay for a prostititue? I already do. 90 Have you ever mooned or flashed someone? I used to do that for fun aswell XD 91 Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf? no wai hoe-zay 92 Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? ACTUALLY. YES. ROFL. 93 Have you ever written a love letter? yes 94 Have you ever attempted suicide? No. 95 Do you prefer boxers or briefs? briefs. 96 Have you ever been in a fistfight? no really. joking slaps. but thats it.. 97 Do you have any hidden talents? I don't even have talents to start with. 98 What is one thing you want me to know about you? I don't want you knowing anything. 99 What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask? You'd ask it then. 100 Do you usually prefer books or movies? Who cares? 101 Who is your favourite person to talk to? My cat. 102 Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad? Loliam 103 Would you ever have sex before marriage? Yeah, I guess I would 104 Who do you talk to most on the phone? Liam. 105 Do you have a secret that yo'ure ashamed of? probably. 106 Do you prefer british or american spelling of words? Australian 107 Have you ever gotten detention? yeah. freakin hell. fridays are shit. 108 How do you vent your anger? LO@L!L$!OK!$LELO!$(U$ hah. 109 Have you ever been on a diet? I love amber's answer to this. 110 Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you? Younger, in the same year. Older, of course. NO! THEY HAVE TO BE SAME DAY, SAME HOUR. 111 Is your best friend a virgin? Why, yes they are. 112 What's a rumor someone has spread about you? i love men. 113 What's the kinkiest thing you could ever actually see yourself as doing? Lol, I actually wouldnt mind dancing...on...a bar. Thatd be pr(i)etty cool. 114 What's the meanest thing anyone has ever done to you? said that. 115 What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? Liam got Short stack to sign my shirt. 116 Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? OI THIS SURVEY IS AWESOME AS. 117 Have you ever cut yourself on purpose? not. cut. but. hey. 118 Have you ever wanted to murder someone? everyday. freakin' shaun. lol. 119 Have you ever hated someone? shes blonde. my grade. fag. yeah. sharna. 120 Do you prefer talking on the phone or online? person 121 Do you consider yourself popular? no, i like it this way. 122 Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them? he better know. 123 Have you ever had a crush on an enemy? actually, yes. 124 Have you ever had a crush on a best friend? he became my best friend. And the other one is. And was. And hopefully will be. 125 What is your favourite book? Invisible monsters. Haunted was pretty sweet. Perks of being a wallflower. Survivor. 126 Do you have a collection of anything? Collection of stuff on my keychain. Collection of crap. Badges. Cds. Bandanas. 127 Are you happy with the person you are becoming? we'll see. 128 Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago? oh hell yeah 129 What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now? Being awesome. Awesome people. awesome life. Cool shit. Thats as far as I got. 130 Are you happy with the life you have? 89% of the time

All I wanted was to let you know.

What's the last thing you put in your mouth? a beverage of a hot sort. Have you ever kissed anyone named Matt? don't think so. no. What was the last song you listened to? right now. First one on the blog - Farewell Where was your default picture taken? lol, cymhs. Can you play guitar hero? easy level ^^ Who was the last person you drove with? Liam When was last time you walked further than a block? 5 minutes ago. Is there someone you want to date? lolmajor. Name something that made you laugh today? yeah, alot! What brand of digital camera do you own? canon EOS 300D pentax canon EOS 10D When was the last time you saw #3 on your top friends? who is three? tim? then today. How late did you stay up last night and why? 10:45pm. Footy show was loud. Who was the last person to text you? Liam If you could move somewhere else, would you? Definately Have you ever been kissed under fireworks? Negative. Oi liam, get on it. Do you believe ex's can be 'just friends'? i believe they can also be best friends. Do you prefer to call or text? depends who it is, lololol When was the last time you cried really, really hard? omg. maybe...A WEEK? OMG. RECORD! Where is your biological father right now? downstairs. tv room. watching tv. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? noooooo Where are you right now? the room that contains my bed that belongs to me What bed did you sleep in last night? mmmmmmmmine! Did you ever go to a special learning center? Sort of...lol What happened at 10:00am today? school. Art. :D Name someone whose name starts with the letter "A"? Do i have to know them? Alex. - Jew. Who took your profile picture? me. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Mark and matt i think. Was yesterday better than today? Im not sure, yes. Today was definitely better. Can you live a day without TV? yep Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? the middle? What were you doing at 9pm last night? maxin it up @ the top thats made for your lap. what is your ring tone? Six feet under the stars. Are you mad about anything? maybe. i think. a little. nah. yeah. yep. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? who with? When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? I think i was today. or yesterday. Yesterday, ill go with that.

This is what we do.

Where's the DEL button on life? Where's the backspace? The ESC key?

&shit

Cheer me up, please?

AsifAsifAsif

I really wanna get out and get some more inspiration going. I really get those ideas flowing and my mind working...but nothings coming. Maybe I need to see some movies or something. I don't want to see some movies. I'm considering reading my Chuck Palahniuk books all over again. Haven't got the time with the other book I'm reading at the moment though. Oh gee.

Are you HBA?

1. Where were you THREE hours ago? in the car. 2. What do you think of your LAST kiss? I like him. 3. Are you wearing SOCKS right now? yes. 4. When was the last time you went out of STATE? umm. new years eve. 5. Have you been to the M0VIES in the last 5 days? negative. 6. What did you see? see above 7. What was the last thing you had to drink? a shit peppermint tea. I now feel sick 8. What are you wearing right now? long blue pants. Black and white striped shirt. 9. What was your last purchase? a shirt or something 10. Last food you ate? i dunno. shrooms or something. was a stirfry. 11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Liam 12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? yes 13. Do you have a pet? yes 14. What did you do last night? Liam was over 16. If you could be anywhere you want where would it be? asleep. 17. What is the last thing you purchased online? a shirt or something. probably a long time ago. 18. One thing you hate about yourself? my weinus. 19. Whatâ�™s your favorite soup? this shit one i made one time. 20. Do you miss anyone? yes sir. 21. Last movie you saw? i watched a bit of Pick of Destiny 22. What are your plans for the day? went to the city. saw liam. came home. went to see my social worker. went to see a hypnotherapist. came home. got bored. 23. Did you have fun today? you could say that 24. Who is your last text message from? Liam 25. Were you an honor roll student in school? in grade 6 26. What do you know about the future? tomorrows wednesday 27. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? mother. father. 29. Do you have a tan? not really i suppose. 30. How old do you want to be when you have kids? meh .like. 28ish. i dont know. 31. Did you meet anyone new today? don't really think so. omg. yes. i did. 32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?yeah. 33. How do you like your soda? non existant. OMG! 34. Do you like hot sauces? ?! 35. What are you doing tomorrow? seeing liam. going somewhere. 36. What day is tomorrow? wednesday 37. What is your current mood? a bit nauseated 38. Why? fuck off 39. Do you remember the first person you ever kissed? yeah 40. Do you have a crush on anyone right now? just a bit. 41. If you could be on a TV show, which one would it be? Pokemon. 42. Why? friggin ace. 43. Have you ever watched a movie and just â�œhadâ� to do what they did? Transformers. lolol. oh, and swan princess. omg. 44. Do you have a â�œfaceâ� you make in the mirror? LOLZ. WHAT?! HAHA. omg yes. no. what? hey. 45. Ever use someone elseâ�™s toothbrush? no. not really. 46. Do you like/love the person you got this survey from? we're married 47. Can you whistle? hai 48. Can you wiggle your ears? yes 49. You have a song that comes on that you just â�œhaveâ� to turn up and sing to? many. oh so many. 50. Who are you thinking about right now? im sore. and a bit sick.

I think I'll take the long way home

Wards won't help Whether I go backwards or forwards Take it as a forewarn I'm torn.